Apraxis incarnate. (rakafkaven) wrote,
Apraxis incarnate.

Make the voices stop

I am a large, fuzzy, manly man. And like many large, fuzzy, manly men, I often want to see pictures of small, fuzzy, manly animals. So one might think that CuteOverload.com would be just the ticket. Unfortunately, CuteOverload.com is too manly, if by "manly" you mean "gut-wrenchingly idiotic" (a definition that's supported by many manly behaviors, really). The text accompanying the pictures is generally as pointlessly superfluous as Bob Sagat's nutsack. If I can't tell that a picture is of an adorable young animal in awkward repose, no caption is likely to convince me. The blog author isn't willing to settle for irrelevance, though. No, he/she dives straight for utter imbecility.
Breakfast of champyons - "Look at this bewildered kitteh and his mouf all covered..."

Beg pardon? "kitteh"? "mouf"? "champyons"? I've looked all over Babelfish and I can't find the option to translate Retarded Toddler to English. And that's a shame, because I'm going to need it as I wade through the "chick-kons" and "comfertuhbuls" and "REDONKULOUSNESS" (which is inexplicably but invariably capitalized) and " 'tocks" and AAAGH MY BRAIN IT BURNS.

No more could I abide this affront to my dignity in my manly attempts to squee over tiny creatures. So I picked up a copy of Greasemonkey and whipped up a five-minute script. It should've been a 30-second script, but my brain was still recovering from immersion in the aggresively inane text of CuteOverload.
// ==UserScript==
// @name cuteoverload inanity filter
// @description removes stupid text. Which is all text.
// @include http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/*
// ==/UserScript==
(function () {
var entries = document.evaluate("//div[@class='entry']",
  var i, ncount, trgentry, inbits;

  for( i = 0; i < entries.snapshotLength; i++) {
    trgentry = entries.snapshotItem(i).childNodes.item(1);
    trgentry.textContent = entries.snapshotItem(i).id;
    trgentry = entries.snapshotItem(i).childNodes.item(3);
    trgentry.style.color = '#ffffff';
It's sloppy, but +90% of the stupid is washed clean away by these few lines. Now I just need to white-out the link tags within entries and fix the harmless-but-annoying compiler errors I get on CuteOverload.com (which is just a big empty frame that holds the page with the real content, http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/). Then I will have contributed something of value to this world.
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