Apraxis incarnate. (rakafkaven) wrote,
Apraxis incarnate.
rakafkaven

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I hate the end of relationships. Even when you've seen it coming for a long time, even when you are the one who finally closes that last door yourself, there's always an element of the bitterest surprise. There's always that moment when you take a single symbolic step away, and feel the wrenching emptiness as you know you can't step back. Even if you know it's what has to happen, you wonder if there was any other way. You may never feel you made a mistake, but you feel a ghost of future regret right then. And it hurts. And knowing doesn't make it any easier.

And I'm at that point again, now. I have to end it. A hundred times and a hundred more, and then again, and again; all in the next few days.

Books are printed heartbreak, bound to happen.
"It's not that these other books are better than you. But I've read you, and... and I just don't see myself reading you again in the next five years. I'm sorry."

"It's not you, it's me. Yeah, we had some great, crazy times back in high school. But I'm a different reader, now."

"Look, your cover was always beautiful. I know I'll never forget your cover. But I shouldn't've picked you up just for that. There was just nothing there inside. I need more."

"No, it's not about the papercuts. It was never about the papercuts."

"Hey, I know this is ugly right now. But maybe, once we've both moved on a bit, I'll check you out in the library. If that's okay."

"You know what? I never wanted to read you. I picked you up just so my friends would see me with you and be impressed. You happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"I tried. God knows, I tried. Over and over. I stopped reading all other books for you. I set aside an entire vacation, just to see if we could make it work. But... you just meandered. And kept going on, and on. And I thought, 'Fine. I can do this.' But then you always started with those goddamned endnotes, not even footnotes so we could stay together, but those endnotes you know I always hated and... and it's just not going to happen."

"I know you're fragile. I'm trying to be gentle. Don't you fall apart on me now. Don't. That won't help anything."

"I'm done with you. You were a good read. I had my fun. But frankly, the only reason I'd keep you in my sight now is in case my friends wanted to flip through you sometime. I can't say I'd recommend you, but I wouldn't stop 'em."

"You can stay. You can. But I don't think I can ever read you again. I'd just be using you for reference. And that's not fair to either of us."

"I only got you 'cause I wanted to read your sequel."
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